February 22, 2014
Confessions of a Hostel Manager
I have no idea whether time is catching up with me but after more years than I care to remember as a hostel manager and keeping my own journal, I am here to bear if not my sole then certainly those of some of the people I have been fortunate or in some cases unfortunate to meet over the past 20 or so years.
I will point out from day one I am not here to score points or to embarrass individuals, I can assure both friend and foe alike I will never disclose true names, exact locations or dates, but that does not mean I will not disclose individual traits or in some cases nick names, if my posts do offend anyone then let me apologise in advance …. No not really if offends you then tuff.
I start not at the beginning but from a recent event that made me chuckle, it revolves around a few guests who were using the bathrooms for everything other than bathing, this problem is not that uncommon in the hostel industry and many a manager has had to deal with the issue of not the act of two people enjoying time together but the effect the noise of such entertainment has on other guests or the inconvenience as in this occasion when other guests were not able to use the bathrooms for a period of time.
I have heard tell of many a manager using all different ways of dealing with this noisy issue, from throwing cold water on the parties, coughing as loudly as possible while trying to look anywhere other than at the couple in question, to Selling tickets for the entertainment value to other guests, my approach is a little more subtle.
Most of these instances are reported after the deed and so it is only a formality that I get either or both parties together and away from everyone else, I do still in the most respectful tone, ask that they turn the noise down and do show some respect for other guests, on this occasion the intimacy was happening there and then which gave me no option to use diplomacy and the commotion from their antics and the noise of the water from the showers was making it impossible for them to hear me, so I had no option but to go to plan ‘B’ and I simply turned off the lights and the hot water and for the ‘piece de resistance’ I played the ‘Birdie’ song loudly over the tannoy system , it’s surprising what the difference of cold water, darkness and the load sound of really bad music can do to one’s sex drive add this to the fact that the song was only ever played if such an occurrence take place, therefore informing both staff and guests alike that there would be a few red faces emerging from somewhere inside the building.
My only fear is that someday I may lose the recording of this thought provoking song.
Check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjMOJU26EsU